Life is an ever changing event. As children
we’re careless and unconcerned with our surroundings. Fate and destiny are
words and concepts our small vocabularies don't have displeasure of
knowing yet. In essence, we're blessed by ignorance.Time changes all of
that, of course. We learn to be jealous. We learn to hate. We learn to
fear. And, we begin to question everything from our reason for existing to
our future. We ask ourselves all kinds of questions like, "What am I doing
with my life?" Or, "How did I end up like this?"
I face many crossroads day in and day out just like this - scrutinizing
every decision I make to the point it causes stomach pain, loss of sleep
and trouble in my job. I know I’m not the only one who does this,
though…what a strange comfort that is.
Last night, while wrestling with fatigue and confusion about the usual
stuff - God, career, fate -
The Redbud Revival's
song, “Hills (Revisited)," crept into my thoughts. The lyrics came in
short bursts. Suddenly, a wash of calm took over me and the storms in my
head began to subside. The very same song became a bit of a blanket for me
last January during trips to the hospital to see my dying grandfather.
"I stood atop a building.
Midwestern soul unites with sky.
I long to hear the voice of God.
The wind it rustles in my ears.
It said, 'Son you can’t ensue your destiny, your fate is known only to
me.'"
I'm not a purist when it comes to spiritual matters because I believe
truth to come in many forms. And, it hardly gets any more real than this.
I had to let go of my troubles. They're not mine to keep. It's a struggle
to surrender, but sometimes it is the only thing I can do.
"So I sat down to think, and I smelled the grass and trees.
You know, we’re scattered round like leaves.
Guess I’ll accept the way the wind chooses to blow me."
I had an argument with a friend about this very idea several months ago.
He said he was living his life like this, though I knew he’d never heard
this song. It amazed me how someone could relinquish all control and let
the wind blow them whichever way. I thought destiny was something to be
harnessed.
"Instead of talking, I listened for awhile.
Heard my heart beating, its echoes heard for miles.
Am I bleeding? Life hurts us all sometimes.
From within we feel the need to spread our roots like trees.
But now I’m just scattered round like leaves.
Guess I’ll accept the way the wind chooses to blow me."
No one knows their fate. Or do they? I once had my palm read by a girl in
high school. The only reason I took her word was because she supposedly
told another friend of mine he was on a terrible path. Just as she
foretold, his life was cut short later the same year in a car accident.
Weird, huh? I try not to put much stock into that stuff, but I’m human and
I want to believe I'm in control.
"Fate follows you and me, its path we cannot see.
For now we’re scattered ‘round like leaves.
I’ll just accept the way the wind chooses to blow me."
Well, I guess I have new words to live by.
